Triggers

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3D approach to triggers

Here’s an approach to help you deal with your triggers. I call it a 3D approach because it helps deal with triggers no matter their angle, and they all begin with ‘D’ to support recall.

Dodge

If you can see a situation or circumstance where you might get triggered, it may be easiest – especially in the early days – to avoid it altogether. 

However, remember that avoiding a trigger can lead to a sense of loss, which can also be triggering. For example, if you usually drink with friends after a day of cycling, seeing a football match or hanging out at a spa together, then would you be happy to remove that from your life to avoid alcohol? No? In which case, we move on to the next ‘D’, deal.

Deal

If you can’t or don’t want to avoid a triggering situation, you could consider how you deal with your reactions. There’s no reason you should fall into the same behaviour patterns – you’re in control and can choose to manage your actions differently. Dealing with your triggers is about altering your response to them rather than trying to change them. For example, there will be some triggers in your life you don‘t want to change – like going out to dinner with loved ones. In a situation like this, you could plan to have an AF drink instead. 

Out of the 3D’s, dealing with your triggers is the best way forward, as confronting them weakens them to a point where they are no longer a threat. However, sometimes we may misjudge the situation or a trigger we hadn’t planned for rears its head. In this situation, we can use the third D – depart

Depart

Sometimes you can be caught off guard, or new and unexpected triggers can emerge due to your heightened sensitivity, thanks partly to you paying attention and being mindful. Whatever the trigger, if you can’t dodge it or deal with it, it’s time to depart.

Departing isn’t a weakness or a sign of failure – it’s simply an avoidance of an unplanned trigger, a survival instinct – and sometimes, it’s merely the best choice.

But just because the trigger is unplanned doesn’t mean your exit should be too. Planning what you say or do in this circumstance can help in an awkward situation.